A Mother's Identity

Do you want to read a life-changing book?  I recommend Heaven Is Here by Stephanie Nielson, the author of nieniedialogues.com.  I laughed, I cried, my paradigms shifted.  I'll never be the same again.

She was in an airplane crash in 2008 in which she burned 80% of her body.  She had four kids and a loving husband, and all she wanted in the world was to be a wife and a mother.  In her book she describes her life before the crash, the experience of the crash itself, and the process of both physical and spiritual recovery and healing that occurred over the course of a year.

I loved the book because she is so honest, so transparent in her admissions of weakness in the face of these enormous trials.  She is real.  She doesn't pretend that she was fine when she wasn't.  She invites us into her most intimate thoughts and lowest moments.  It's not that she's casting pearls though.  She is sharing for the very important purpose of making a difference in peoples lives.  And she has.  She has certainly changed my perspectives.

How can I now dance or exercise without considering the great blessing it is to have a strong and healthy body?  I look in the mirror, and even in my make-up-less, just-woke-up moments, I can't help but appreciate the beauty that God has given me.  When I was folding the laundry today, I felt joyful to be doing it with such ease.  I am so grateful to be a mother and to have days filled with pretending and working, playing and hugging.  I love being a mom.

I learned something unexpected from this book as well.  I learned about identity, about what it means to be me.  Nienie is and always has been a very special and unique person.  She is blessed with a large, loving family.  She knew that she was meant to be a wife and a mother from a young age.  She married a man who shared her values.  I identify with her so strongly.  I respect her ability to stand apart from others and be comfortable with who she is.  It caused me to evaluate myself and remember who I am, apart from being a wife and a mother.  What do I like to do?  What am I all about?  How do I want to be remembered?  It has enriched my life as I have considered the answers to these questions and made efforts to stay true to myself.

I have learned through personal experience that Nienie's triumphs can be ours as well as we apply the principles of faith, hope, and hard work to our relatively minor everyday struggles.