Saturday, May 11, 2013

Thoughts of a tired mom...

Proceeding to write to think...

I'm pursuing my own self-education. I have been doing so for quite some time, having graduated from college four years ago. I don't intend to ever stop. My education will never be complete. That being said, I desperately long to pursue my education with more vigilance than I have previously done. Because of the time frame I have just described, I find myself without a sense of urgency and therefore dabbling, not finishing things, and becoming easily distracted from the task at hand. Add on top of all of that the fact that I am a stay-at-home mom with two beautiful, energetic daughters, and it's no wonder I don't feel like I'm ever really accomplishing anything.

I have a deep hunger for knowledge. I long to cultivate my mind. I want to devour books, whip through them, think deeply about them, then proceed to the next one. I wish I could read lots of different books concurrently; I would always have one going from each of the major subjects as well as anything else that caught my fancy. Additionally, I want to write eloquently, think rationally, speak confidently and all around develop the skill of great rhetoric. I want to pursue ever higher levels of math and science. I want to have a deeper understanding of history and greater appreciation for the arts. Also, I would love to cultivate my own musical talents and explore new skills.

The problem is, where am I to find the time? And even if I carve out the time, can I really sustain the pace that I desire? Perhaps the better question is, would that pace allow me to achieve optimal results? Is my clock ticking? Should I just give up now? No, I don't think so. But it certainly is discouraging.

My biggest battle, even beyond making time for my education, is finding the motivation to do what I've committed to, starting what I've finished, or having the grit to keep going even when the motivation is gone. I feel passionate about these things, but it's not that hard to forget that passion when you're tired, distracted, and overworked

What's the answer?

Goals. Plans. Consistency. Routines. Habits. Variety. Flexibility. Clarity. Prayer. Diligence. Grit.

I guess I'll let you know how it goes.

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